Life Changing: Claustrophobic

One event that changed my life a lot was a night when I was 7, maybe 8. I was staying over at my friend Caroline's house for the night for her birthday party with 8 of her friends that I didn't know. We all got along pretty well except for one of her friends didn't like me that much. But it was alright because the feeling was pretty much mutual. She was really competitive and would only have things her way. The only game she agreed on us playing was hide and seek. So we start playing, and of course she was it because she "didn't feel like hiding". So, thinking it would be a really good hiding spot, I hid in the closet in the basement (where everyone else was hiding too) and just waited. After 10 minutes I heard her outside and heard her touch the door. But she didn't open it like I thought she would and soon enough I couldn't hear her outside anymore. I was obviously curious, so I tried to open the door just to find that she had locked me inside. At first I was confused and started knocking on the door to see if she was outside and just didn't realize what she had done. But no one was there. A few seconds later, I heard Caroline's mom call them up to dinner and then heard them all run up stairs, leaving me alone in the closet in the basement. I turned around with my back against the door facing the jackets that were hanging there. They suddenly seemed so much closer to me then they had before, brushing up against me and taking up way too much room. The room felt hotter and smaller. I got really antsy really quickly as the coats hit up against me more and more and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I was overheating, anxious, dizzy, and soon enough started having problems breathing which led to me crying (which obviously lead to more trouble breathing). I was banging at the door and trying to scream so they could hear me, but no one came. Finally, after 10 more minutes, they realized I wasn't at dinner and Caroline came down stairs, found me, opened the door, and let me out.

I look back at this event now as the night when I realized how claustrophobic I really am. I had had run ins with small spaces in the past, and although they made me uncomfortable, it was nothing like this. I never would have thought a simple game of hide and seek would lead me to having my first panic attack as well as lead me to realizing what I would be most afraid of for the rest of my life. 

This has affected the way I live now in many ways. Being in a car for too long makes me really anxious, and being in a crowded car is even worse. When driving for more then 45 minutes or so, I need to take breaks just to get out of the car for a while. I also have problems with large crowds of people, especially if it's a crowd with people who are taller than me. Overall, this has made me more cautious and alert about where I am and who I'm with, just to be sure I'm not ever in a situation like that again.